How to overcome fear of rejection

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We were all rejected at some point in our life. Rejection can harm us and affect us deeply. A sense of belonging to a community is one of the key ingredients for survival. We never want to live in isolation.

Rejecting today is not what it used to be, given how little we are connected in this age of digital technology. Two seconds after a post we post on social media, we want to be consciously seen and connected with us. However, when the Instagram or Facebook post does not get the likes or comments we expect, we feel that we are disappointed, ignored and left behind. Then we blame ourselves.

Accept what happens

After twenty-five years of marriage, “I don’t love you anymore”

You can feel that the word pierces his caring heart like a piercing dagger. This psychological blow can hurt as much as the physical aches of a hook attached to your chin, or you may feel as if you have a punch in your stomach. To overcome rejection, really feel the pain. Stop acting like you’re not really affected. Accept that the sharp, severe emotional pain you feel is as valid and true as any physical pain. Confess yourself to what you feel and experience.

Listen to the voice that describes the injustice you feel inside. Let this voice speak and cover your emotional wounds. If you don’t, this emotional energy will continue to pull you to the bottom. Listen to the mixture of anger, sadness, loss and loneliness of the voice. You can now feel relief by acting as invincible and letting your senses flow like a flood.

Be active

When you tell the story of how to be treated unfairly during your dream job interview, if your friend rolls his eyes and sighs for the fifth time listening, it is time for change. You’re wasting your time and energy and your friend’s energy. Try to get help from your spouse, family and different friends. Make a deal with your spouse, family and friends to let them attract you.

Do three or four different activities to keep you busy and turn your attention to something productive. Choose your activities wisely. Don’t just choose an activity to be distracted and busy. Choose something that can reproduce the good energy within you, occupy your mindset and change your mood. Physical activities are great examples. Move your body, listen to music, take a walk with your friends.

Especially in difficult times, you need to protect your mental and emotional states. It is essential to act wisely. Before taking another step, ask yourself if you have the right resources and support.

If you stopped at the helplessness station, hope to get on the train and the train passes you on, sometimes the best thing you can do is stop trying to get on the train for a while. Get some rest. Let your mind and thoughts breathe. Focus your attention on activities and opportunities that do not put you at risk of being rejected again, at least for a short time. During your rest periods, your mind and heart are repaired and strengthened. You have to rest them against the risk of a different rejection.

Know that you will always have a different capacity and flexibility when it comes to rejection, so don’t go back to the boxing ring before you’re really ready. Find out what your limits are and set goals to get ready.

Ask yourself these two questions

Could I idolize the situation or person that caused me to feel such deep loss, sadness, and worthlessness? Are there any negative things I can not see about this situation because I want this so much?

After letting the rejection experience pass a while, you will be able to answer these questions more objectively and accurately. After a while, you will be able to see the other side of the coin. Your loss is not big and you are not at the bottom as you think.

Serkan Sıtkı Şahin

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